draft issues!

my video was erased as i tried to use it on my moms computer... so i have to restart from scratch!

bear with me please!! :(

so thankful

Thanksgiving was so nice. I spent it with some of my extended family, which includes: my mom, dad, two brothers, my grandmother, great aunt, two aunts, three uncles and only one cousin.

We ate TURKEY, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, greenbean casserole, squash and yams.

We then had my grandma's chocolate roll, apple pie, chocolate chip cookies, rocky road brownies and lemon bars.

Thanksgiving is not a huge holiday for my family. Christmas is the best for my family
Its all 7 of my mom's siblings, their children, my dad and mom's parents and my great aunt. In total there's about 30 people over my house.

I hope you had a happy thanksgiving!!

leading the way

  The summer before my freshman year I dislocated my knee two weeks before my swim season (swimming was in the fall for my high school). I happened to be in New Haven when I dislocated my knee and went to Yale hospital. My family was no where near me and as being loaded into the ambulance my coach handed me the phone and I murmured out that I hurt and I loved my Dad. The ambulance ride seemed like years. It was bumpy; over every bump my vulnerable knee (which was still out of its socket) would slam against the metal handles on the stretcher. I felt the sting in my arm as the Morphine flowed into my body. As we pulled into the hospital I was rushed into a hospital bed as a doctor was waiting for me. He then straightened my leg out and pushed on my knee cap. A rush of the most painful experience of my life rushed through my body as I screamed in agony. My knee was back to being into it's socket.
  I showed up to practice two weeks later with a full leg brace. My coach knew in advance, but many of the girls were caught of guard and looked at me from a distance, unsure of how to approach me. I sat through every practice doing as many exercises my body would allow.
  Two weeks later was our "meet the team" party at one of the captain's houses. As I showed up, I saw all the girls stare at me. Through the crowd came a robust woman with blonde hair about 4 inches shorter than I. It was the captain's mom. She told me that this part was for the swim team only, and that I was being asked to immediately. Not one person stood up and said, "no she's on the team, she's just hurt". I looked up with tears in my eyes and the whole room of 30 swimmers and their parents starring at me. I limped out and did not turn back.
   Three weeks later, I was cleared to go in the water and swim. At first I did not swim with the high school team, but the club team instead. As I got to my first practice with the high school team not one girl talked to me. They turned their noses up at me and went about on their own business. When my first meet came around, that was worse. Not one person cheered for me, regardless I made states my first swim. Imagine how controversial that was. After the meet, the captains pulled me aside telling me that I was not allowed to compete in states, and if I wanted to ever swim again I would give my spot up for the other senior. Essentially I was forced to give up my spot and let the other senior swim for me. I will NEVER forget that moment ever again. I was ready to quit and start playing soccer again.
  I returned my sophomore year and was so happy I stayed with it. My senior year came around and I was nominated for captain. I lead the team to a state championship and lived by the motto to treat others the way you wanted to be treated. I would tell the story of what happened to me my freshman year and I made sure that NO ONE was treated the way I was. People still talk about what happened and remind people that someone should NEVER be treated this way.

when you try your best but you dont succeed...

   I have been struggling so much with swimming recently. I fractured my excessive navicular bone three weeks ago. It hurts a lot, nothing relieves the pain. I struggle with clinical depression, so usually swimming helps ease the pain, not increase it. Swimming has always been a stress reliever and i can be excited to go to swimming because that's one of the only things I'm good at. Recently, I've been dreading to go to practice. I went from being number one on my high school to close to the bottom on the college team.
  I try SO hard everyday. It may not look like it right now because of my broken bone, but I try my absolute hardest. My times haven't been where I want them to be while everyone else is improving. I'm stuck in reverse. Swimming is usually the only thing that I can do right, but right now it's nothing. There's been so many times I've wanted to get out of the water and quit, but that will only show how weak i REALLY am. I've been listening to "A Little Bit Stronger" by Sarah Evans which has been helping. Songs that really express how I'm feeling, "The Scientist" and "Fix You" by Coldplay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3SIUoGijoM
-Fix You

talk it out

   I hate beginning class with a quiz about the readings we do. I read them, but I always forget them. When we discuss them and be graded on participation I could have an A in this class. If I talk about something that I've learned, it will stick in my brain longer than if I read it then quizzed. My brain will push out whatever is left of the little information I remember of the reading and forget it completely. It then KILLS me when later in the week we talk about readings we did from 2 weeks ago, but never discussed.
  I love class discussions. Hearing a million different points of views from the same reading is so much fun and I love hearing what other people think. I may not agree with what they say, but I like to hear other points of views.
  I also like starting class off with Lee. It's not a lot of pressure, we can relax and she eases us into getting prepared for class. I really admire her and I hope that she gets her dream job after Southern.

:)

studying

   I do my best studying at athletic study hall. Seems pretty dull, boring, very high school-ish to have a study hall, but it makes me do my homework. I'm also surrounded with people that are also mandated to be studying or doing homework. Also, facebook or anything not school related is prohibited from study which is also motivating to do work. When I'm in my dorm, the TV is sometimes on, my roommates could be on the phone, music is playing. The environment does not do too well with my study habits. It's easy to sneak away to facebook.

  I dont have a picture of study hall because nothing is really allowed in study hall. It's a lecture hall in Morill. If you walk into the building through the automatic doors, you walk straight to a pair of doors (before the vending machines). It fits about 80 people on a good day.

  All in all, being surrounded by a million other people who are also tired from multiple practices, classes and then having mandatory study hall.